Well, how is this for irony? The day I choose to devote to boundless blogging turns out to be my most action packed day in quite some time. Around 2 I left for the beach, then left from there to go to a Giants game, and made time for a burrito in between! Holy moses!
Maybe if there is a really funny joke on David Letterman I can cram in one more blog about how funny that joke was before this night is over, but aside from that unlikely happenstance, consider this live blog over.
I am sorry to disappoint.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Live Blog: Part 1
So I am not sure what constitutes a "live blog", but I am just going to try to put up as many posts as I can today.
I kicked off today, the 28th of August, with a hefty little run. As it had been roughly 5 months since my last attempt, I figured a good test of my metal would be to kick the shit out of that vertical high-rise we so casually refer to as a "hill" in this city. Needless to say, I got to the top, and felt like Pre-Montage Rocky getting to the top of those steps. And when I say "top", I use that term loosely, as there is no actual end to the hill, just a brief leveling off. Once I reached the plateau, I examined my options. I figured a good middle ground between continuing my run or throwing up on myself while passing out was to walk for a little while, then return home.
Estimated run time: 4 minutes.
Estimated run distance: .2 miles
I kicked off today, the 28th of August, with a hefty little run. As it had been roughly 5 months since my last attempt, I figured a good test of my metal would be to kick the shit out of that vertical high-rise we so casually refer to as a "hill" in this city. Needless to say, I got to the top, and felt like Pre-Montage Rocky getting to the top of those steps. And when I say "top", I use that term loosely, as there is no actual end to the hill, just a brief leveling off. Once I reached the plateau, I examined my options. I figured a good middle ground between continuing my run or throwing up on myself while passing out was to walk for a little while, then return home.
Estimated run time: 4 minutes.
Estimated run distance: .2 miles
Monday, August 27, 2007
Re: Lack of Blogging
Recently, Greg called it to all of our attention that there has been a lack of blogging going on. I feel more responsible than most, given I really don't have an excuse not to. My days are pretty full, what with Band of Brothers, downloading 90s music/comic books/fisting porn, but I should be able to make time for the important things in life.
Thankfully, when your life is as trivial as mine, Blogging actually counts as "important". So here it is: my triumphant return to blogdom. And what to discuss, of the myriad of topics floating around in my mind right now? There are just so many current events that demand my discerning, scathing brand of witticism. Or, at least, there probably are. I haven't followed any current event in the last year. The last I heard, Darfur was in need of saving, Iraq was pretty gay, and no one was too excited about our president. I assume all these events are still current, but since I know nothing of any of them, I will move my attention to something I know slightly more about: Vaginas.
I was pretty excited to live with three girls. Not because I had intent of shacking up with them (that would border on incest at this point), but I definitely had intent to shack up with their hot, sexy, totally single friends. Thus far, while the offers have obviously been flying in non-stop, I have yet to capitalize on anything. Perhaps this is because - oh wait - the girls of this house don't have any girl friends!
What the crap?
Who do you guys talk to about boys? Who helps you paint your nails? Who do you have pillow fights and sleepovers with? Everything I know about girls (they are prettier than guys, smell better, and have squishy holes) tells me that you guys are supposed to travel in packs. Just look at mean girls!
But instead, nothing. No Lindsay Lohan, no Rachel McAdams. Well, enough procrastination. Time to find a new way to put off looking for a job. Tight.
Thankfully, when your life is as trivial as mine, Blogging actually counts as "important". So here it is: my triumphant return to blogdom. And what to discuss, of the myriad of topics floating around in my mind right now? There are just so many current events that demand my discerning, scathing brand of witticism. Or, at least, there probably are. I haven't followed any current event in the last year. The last I heard, Darfur was in need of saving, Iraq was pretty gay, and no one was too excited about our president. I assume all these events are still current, but since I know nothing of any of them, I will move my attention to something I know slightly more about: Vaginas.
I was pretty excited to live with three girls. Not because I had intent of shacking up with them (that would border on incest at this point), but I definitely had intent to shack up with their hot, sexy, totally single friends. Thus far, while the offers have obviously been flying in non-stop, I have yet to capitalize on anything. Perhaps this is because - oh wait - the girls of this house don't have any girl friends!
What the crap?
Who do you guys talk to about boys? Who helps you paint your nails? Who do you have pillow fights and sleepovers with? Everything I know about girls (they are prettier than guys, smell better, and have squishy holes) tells me that you guys are supposed to travel in packs. Just look at mean girls!
But instead, nothing. No Lindsay Lohan, no Rachel McAdams. Well, enough procrastination. Time to find a new way to put off looking for a job. Tight.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
More Beer
Continuing with the brew topic I want to discuss the homebrew nomenclature. Per my conversation with genghis I think we need to assign names to the kegs to differentiate them. So probably the best way would be to give them pitchers names to keep the rotation theme. In this case we could say, "Well it looks like Maddux is up nest in the rotation." So I am going to go with Matt Cain as my keg. Josh will probably go with Wild Thing from Major League and Darren with Dan Haren and Matt may go with Pedro but could pick another Mets pitcher, we'll see. Discuss. Ok break. Tequila Night. End 'O story.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Beer
I thought it should be known that the ratio of 5 gallon batches of beer to button-up shirts in my closet has officially tipped in favor of the beer.
Thank god.
Thank god.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Rafting
Ok guys, I know we are in camping mode right now, but I also need to start planning our next big adventure.
That being rafting the South Fork of the American.
Here is the deal: my dad needs $30 from everyone who is going. This is for gas, another guide, boating permits, and lunch, which will be provided. Lunch is going to be turkey and/or salami sammiches, I believe. If any one is a vegetarian, or a fag, they need to let me know what kind of special treatment they need.
So this money needs to be collected pre-trip, so we don't get a bunch of flakes. This is basically open right now, with a total of 12 spots. Please let me know if you are going or not. Also, if you feel like it would be a good idea to bring a guest to further your romantic exploits (I am looking your way Jessica), please let me know that as well.
Ok, yeah. Kick ass.
That being rafting the South Fork of the American.
Here is the deal: my dad needs $30 from everyone who is going. This is for gas, another guide, boating permits, and lunch, which will be provided. Lunch is going to be turkey and/or salami sammiches, I believe. If any one is a vegetarian, or a fag, they need to let me know what kind of special treatment they need.
So this money needs to be collected pre-trip, so we don't get a bunch of flakes. This is basically open right now, with a total of 12 spots. Please let me know if you are going or not. Also, if you feel like it would be a good idea to bring a guest to further your romantic exploits (I am looking your way Jessica), please let me know that as well.
Ok, yeah. Kick ass.
Camping
I know this may be unkosher, but as opposed to using this blog to post drunken rants about pubes and all matters fecal, I am going to take a mild detour into Practical Town.
If this offends anyone, I am sorry.
I am tossing this out to any Corral members who are interested. I am going to try to put together a food group for camping. This will bring down cost, reduce effort, and hopefully, produce less dishes (tight). Here is a basic menu I am thinking. If other people have changes they want to make or whatever, let me know.
Lunches (2) - Sammiches
turkey, butterball, 20 oz. for 4 bucks at safeway
bread
tomato
onion
mustard
breakfast (2)
Eggs
Bacon
Tortillas (just for shits)
Maybe throw in some salsa or bell peppers and shit.
Dinner 1
Hot dogs (16 oz pack of chicken dogs at safeway for $1. No kidding)
We could also do ground meat burgers, for $3.49 a pound, or turkey burgers for even less.)
Chili (for the hot dogs) - most likely free from soup freaks.
Corn on the cob maybe?
Watermelon ($2 for a whole one at Safeway!)
Dinner 2
Spaghetti
Sauce
Maybe some ground meat to toss in
I am open to side dishes on this one...
So there you have it. I was going basically for cheapness, and minimal amounts of prep. Also, who has a cooler chest?
Let me know what you think.
If this offends anyone, I am sorry.
I am tossing this out to any Corral members who are interested. I am going to try to put together a food group for camping. This will bring down cost, reduce effort, and hopefully, produce less dishes (tight). Here is a basic menu I am thinking. If other people have changes they want to make or whatever, let me know.
Lunches (2) - Sammiches
turkey, butterball, 20 oz. for 4 bucks at safeway
bread
tomato
onion
mustard
breakfast (2)
Eggs
Bacon
Tortillas (just for shits)
Maybe throw in some salsa or bell peppers and shit.
Dinner 1
Hot dogs (16 oz pack of chicken dogs at safeway for $1. No kidding)
We could also do ground meat burgers, for $3.49 a pound, or turkey burgers for even less.)
Chili (for the hot dogs) - most likely free from soup freaks.
Corn on the cob maybe?
Watermelon ($2 for a whole one at Safeway!)
Dinner 2
Spaghetti
Sauce
Maybe some ground meat to toss in
I am open to side dishes on this one...
So there you have it. I was going basically for cheapness, and minimal amounts of prep. Also, who has a cooler chest?
Let me know what you think.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Football
Holy shit, there is pre-season football on today. I feel like a kid the night before Christmas. Although, knowing my 49ers, it will be like I was a kid who really had his heart set on an Erector set, then gets nothing but coal and used underwear.
But none the less, I am actually incapacited with excitement. I thought about many things I could do today - find a job, work on my resume, bathe - and just can't picture myself doing any of them.
There isn't really a reason for this post; I am saying nothing that anyone else would find interesting. I am just trying to find things to do between the hours of 10 and 4:30 to make that time go faster.
My nipples are hard.
But none the less, I am actually incapacited with excitement. I thought about many things I could do today - find a job, work on my resume, bathe - and just can't picture myself doing any of them.
There isn't really a reason for this post; I am saying nothing that anyone else would find interesting. I am just trying to find things to do between the hours of 10 and 4:30 to make that time go faster.
My nipples are hard.
Holla at yer gurl!
First of all, Gregorio, I hope you had a wonderful birthday and enjoyed Chico. I'm sorry I didn't get to say it on Friday but Happy Birthday!
Joshie-poo:
After spending last Thursday with you, a day which began with fabulous omelets, if I do say so myself, (Chloe's got nothin' on us! And I scoff at the 8 dollars they charge and their 40 minute wait) I feel I made up for missing Josh Day '07. Let's remind everyone what Thursday (aka: Museum Day) consisted of...
Around 2pm, two sober, thrifty city enthusiasts (that's us) arrived at the SF MOMA. Lucky for me, Josh- the mafioso he is- had his connections get us in for free. Our heads filled with Matisse and indigo blue cotton shirts (special exhibits), we decided it was high time to fill our stomachs with something, too. Ah! Toronado-our beloved beer bar- has a happy hour that starts before noon. We proceeded to hop on a Haight-bound bus, which arrived promptly- an omen that the universe was in favor of our pilgrimage-and shortly thereafter arrived on heaven's doorstep.
We split a pulled pork sandwich from my favorite BBQ place across the street from the bar (it reminds me a bit of my hick-ish roots in Florida and West Virginia) and washed it down with 3 tasty pints. Happy hour (the best hour of the day, which apparently lasts for 6 hours at Toronado, though we were only there for two) being over, we decided we needed to top the day off with some of the homemade brew. We professed our love for all things alcoholic and considered the always alluring possibility of Bingo. It was around this point that I noticed I had a text message. I was actually in the middle of sending a reply when I just plain passed out; despite my best efforts, I never managed to hit the elusive "Send" button, or get to Bingo for that matter. According to my sources, in the end, no one made it to bingo; the lure of burritos and birthday cake claimed every last soul.
However, I should note that my passing out was especially noteworthy because 1.) The lights in my room were on 2.) I was fully dressed 3.) My bedroom door wasn't exactly closed 4.) It was still light outside-roughly 7:55pm.
"Museum Day"...Special... That's real bonding right there.
STILL TO COME: The Tragicomedy of Travel- Peruvian Style
Joshie-poo:
After spending last Thursday with you, a day which began with fabulous omelets, if I do say so myself, (Chloe's got nothin' on us! And I scoff at the 8 dollars they charge and their 40 minute wait) I feel I made up for missing Josh Day '07. Let's remind everyone what Thursday (aka: Museum Day) consisted of...
Around 2pm, two sober, thrifty city enthusiasts (that's us) arrived at the SF MOMA. Lucky for me, Josh- the mafioso he is- had his connections get us in for free. Our heads filled with Matisse and indigo blue cotton shirts (special exhibits), we decided it was high time to fill our stomachs with something, too. Ah! Toronado-our beloved beer bar- has a happy hour that starts before noon. We proceeded to hop on a Haight-bound bus, which arrived promptly- an omen that the universe was in favor of our pilgrimage-and shortly thereafter arrived on heaven's doorstep.
We split a pulled pork sandwich from my favorite BBQ place across the street from the bar (it reminds me a bit of my hick-ish roots in Florida and West Virginia) and washed it down with 3 tasty pints. Happy hour (the best hour of the day, which apparently lasts for 6 hours at Toronado, though we were only there for two) being over, we decided we needed to top the day off with some of the homemade brew. We professed our love for all things alcoholic and considered the always alluring possibility of Bingo. It was around this point that I noticed I had a text message. I was actually in the middle of sending a reply when I just plain passed out; despite my best efforts, I never managed to hit the elusive "Send" button, or get to Bingo for that matter. According to my sources, in the end, no one made it to bingo; the lure of burritos and birthday cake claimed every last soul.
However, I should note that my passing out was especially noteworthy because 1.) The lights in my room were on 2.) I was fully dressed 3.) My bedroom door wasn't exactly closed 4.) It was still light outside-roughly 7:55pm.
"Museum Day"...Special... That's real bonding right there.
STILL TO COME: The Tragicomedy of Travel- Peruvian Style
Monday, August 6, 2007
Joshday, August 6, 2007!!!
Based on the three exclamation marks in the subject title, you can tell that Joshday, August 6, 2007!!! was incredibly awesome. I'm not talking dueling smiley face/cube-shaped fireworks awesome, but rather dueling Celine Deon/Meatloaf-Marion Raven version of "It's All Coming Back To Me Now" awesome. Obviously, attendees discussed mundane subjects such as food, 40's, and Monday sucking, but good times were managed, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable adversity (long waits, heavily tattooed bulldyke waitresses, and under-carbonated homebrew). Yum.
Until next year...Happy Joshday, August 6, 2007!!!
Until next year...Happy Joshday, August 6, 2007!!!
It's been far too long
Sorry folks. I realize I haven't been bringing my A game to this blog thing recently (although, I have been bringing my "A's" game, as in, I have been sucking an awfully lot).
This was due to a beastly thing called "A Job". No longer will I let such petty distractions get in the way of the important things in life, i.e., blogging, drinking, reading comic books, and masturbating. Wow, when you put things like that, it really sounds like I am reading the 'Merican dream here.
Much like a cancer, I have cut this job from my life, no longer allowing it to sap every ounce of joy out of me. And, much like with cancer, I have shaved my head. Not all the way; only black people can pull that off. But enough that I feel like a new person. A new person with totally sick side burns.
Anyway, there is no point to this message, I just now have a lot of free time, and am really happy about it. When I was growing up, I idolized GI Joes, Hot Rod (the one from Transformers, not that piece-of-shit Samberg movie), and Jerry Goldstein. While the last person may seem obscure to those "none-chosen-ones" out there, he is just a filthy rich white jew who is ugly as sin but bought a gorgeous wife from Thailand. As I have grown up and matured (not in the mental sense, but I definitely have pubes now), my priorities have shifted, as have my dreams. All the sports heroes, movie stars, and comic book characters of yore have been replaced with one shining beacon of human excellence: Peter from Office Space. More and more, I find my life to resemble his, aside from the boning Jennifer Aniston thing.
My dream really is to do nothing. I don't care about helping others; I don't need fulfillment from my job. I just want to sit around, roll out of bed, make some food, play some drums, and then go to sleep. That is my perfect day.
And now, I finally have it. God bless 'Merica, and I can't wait till I get my welfare check.
See you in the soup kitchen line,
Food Stamp Josh
This was due to a beastly thing called "A Job". No longer will I let such petty distractions get in the way of the important things in life, i.e., blogging, drinking, reading comic books, and masturbating. Wow, when you put things like that, it really sounds like I am reading the 'Merican dream here.
Much like a cancer, I have cut this job from my life, no longer allowing it to sap every ounce of joy out of me. And, much like with cancer, I have shaved my head. Not all the way; only black people can pull that off. But enough that I feel like a new person. A new person with totally sick side burns.
Anyway, there is no point to this message, I just now have a lot of free time, and am really happy about it. When I was growing up, I idolized GI Joes, Hot Rod (the one from Transformers, not that piece-of-shit Samberg movie), and Jerry Goldstein. While the last person may seem obscure to those "none-chosen-ones" out there, he is just a filthy rich white jew who is ugly as sin but bought a gorgeous wife from Thailand. As I have grown up and matured (not in the mental sense, but I definitely have pubes now), my priorities have shifted, as have my dreams. All the sports heroes, movie stars, and comic book characters of yore have been replaced with one shining beacon of human excellence: Peter from Office Space. More and more, I find my life to resemble his, aside from the boning Jennifer Aniston thing.
My dream really is to do nothing. I don't care about helping others; I don't need fulfillment from my job. I just want to sit around, roll out of bed, make some food, play some drums, and then go to sleep. That is my perfect day.
And now, I finally have it. God bless 'Merica, and I can't wait till I get my welfare check.
See you in the soup kitchen line,
Food Stamp Josh
Friday, August 3, 2007
Dude, Where's My Car?
6:15 rolls around and I left to go for a short run and move my car because street cleaning was this morning and I didn't feel like paying a 40$ ticket. As I ran up to where I parked my car I noticed a large pickup truck that had a strikingly similar resemblance to my honda civic. Or not.
Slowly the panic started to set in. Where's my car? Is this actually where I parked? Did it just get towed? Why would someone steal my filthy car? Where's Ashton Kutcher? I needed answers. I obviously ran back to the corral and broke the news to C-dub who wanted to confirm I was sure that was where I had parked. I verified and then proceeded to use this handy tool to find out if my car had actually been towed. Search returned no results. Dang. A police report was then filed.
Of course it was about that time I remembered I may have parked somewhere else. I bolted out the door and sure enough my car was right where I actually parked it. I even ran past it on the way to look for it the first time. Wow.
Not having your car stolen is totally the best way to start off a friday. I suggest you try it sometime.
Slowly the panic started to set in. Where's my car? Is this actually where I parked? Did it just get towed? Why would someone steal my filthy car? Where's Ashton Kutcher? I needed answers. I obviously ran back to the corral and broke the news to C-dub who wanted to confirm I was sure that was where I had parked. I verified and then proceeded to use this handy tool to find out if my car had actually been towed. Search returned no results. Dang. A police report was then filed.
Of course it was about that time I remembered I may have parked somewhere else. I bolted out the door and sure enough my car was right where I actually parked it. I even ran past it on the way to look for it the first time. Wow.
Not having your car stolen is totally the best way to start off a friday. I suggest you try it sometime.
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