Pan-a-ma-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

Here we coooooooooooooome. I would post a picture to prove it but I don´t currently have the means.

To Matt and Pam:

Hello, Matt and Pam. This is Josh. You may know me as that reliable fixture in your morning lives. You know the one: you wake up and give me a pleasant smile, nod, and "hello", and I respond with "Hey, Fag".

I just wanted to let you know I would not be joining you today in our standard morning ritual. As a substitute, let me paint you a picture with a few keystrokes from my fingertips:

You: drowsy-eyed and hungover (Matt) or exhausted from work (Pam)
Me: Garbed in a stained white shirt and silver Nike running shorts, which have never, technically, been run in

You: Running (Matt) or making a delightful breakfast of biscuits n gravy (Pam)
Me: Sitting in a chair, looking at my computer, farting.

You: Making pleasant conversation
Me: Farting and saying inappropriate yet slightly endearing racist comments

You: Leaving for work and/or school
Me: Sitting in a chair, looking at my computer, farting.

Apparently our toilet is pretty good...

...Because I just threw everything I had at it, and it didn't come close to clogging.

Halloween

Hey, so Halloween is coming up, and I have no idea what to be. If anyone can help, that would be tite. T-I-T-E. Tite.