Hello, Matt and Pam. This is Josh. You may know me as that reliable fixture in your morning lives. You know the one: you wake up and give me a pleasant smile, nod, and "hello", and I respond with "Hey, Fag".
I just wanted to let you know I would not be joining you today in our standard morning ritual. As a substitute, let me paint you a picture with a few keystrokes from my fingertips:
You: drowsy-eyed and hungover (Matt) or exhausted from work (Pam)
Me: Garbed in a stained white shirt and silver Nike running shorts, which have never, technically, been run in
You: Running (Matt) or making a delightful breakfast of biscuits n gravy (Pam)
Me: Sitting in a chair, looking at my computer, farting.
You: Making pleasant conversation
Me: Farting and saying inappropriate yet slightly endearing racist comments
You: Leaving for work and/or school
Me: Sitting in a chair, looking at my computer, farting.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment