How Californians See America

Josh, can you confirm or deny the above?

Obstructed View

So we went to the Astro's game on Wednesday night with Dangle. Awesome. Due to his friend's step mom who is the VP of Operation for the Astro's we got front row seats behind the plate. For free. We almost got 2 foul balls and hit by a bat. I got my picture taken with a dude that had the largest and longest mustache I have ever seen in person. Amazing. Also during the 7th inning stretch they played Deep in the Heart of Texas. Damn texans. Also learned that spoiled chicks from New York will not stop for pedestrians.

Like Fine Bag Wine

We went to a water park on Tuesday and it was super tight since the heat and humidity are so brutal that there's nothing else to do. So being in the water is the only solution. There also was an amusement park with the water park that we went to for a bit. I thought it would be fun to go on some rides again. It wasn't. I have never felt this old before. We went on the pirate ship, and not like the one at Great America that goes upside down but the one at the Boardwalk that just goes back and forth. OH my god. My head totally hurt and my stomach couldn't handle it at all. I mean it was the freaking pirate ship!?!? Dang. So needless to say I sat the next few rides out. Ugh. I'm so old.

Beans Beans the Musical Fruit

I just paid 3.89$ a gallon for gas a felt really really good about it.

Tell Me All Your Thoughts On God

Cus I just went to see her. So we went to Church with the rents yesterday. It was surprisingly alright. There were lots of 'Father God' and 'our Lord' stuff but it was chill. They did present us with an amazing slideshow presentation to accompany the sermon. I recreated the graph exactly as it was shown. See below:

So basically the chart doesn't lie. Based on this data alone we can conclude that Cristin is absolutely going to hell and Briana is going to heaven. I feel so enlightened.

Blue Balls and Blueberries

And maybe even some blue poop. We spent the last two days in the 'country' at C-dub's g-ma's house. We picked at least 14 lbs of blueberries. It honestly was a ton of fun. I could have picked them for hours. I probably ate at least 60$ worth of blueberries from Trader Joe's. People from all over just drive into the yard and pick buckets full and then pay 1$ per lb. Josh, you would love this bargain. I think your new job should be to own a blueberry farm. They are delicious. I'll try to save you some.

Oh and the blue balls reference is because I have to sleep in a separate room from C-dub. Yay crazy Christians!

Going Green

I just took out the recycling. It felt real good. I forgot to put a new bag back in because I had to blog about it. Sorry.

The Closing of Doors

Tonight is the first night that I've slept with my door close. Or tried to. It was a very bizarre feeling to close the door fully as I prepared for slumber. Out of habit I had left the door slightly ajar. It was not until I was reading in bed for a spell that I noticed that it was open and that it did not need to be. Now, as I close it, I wonder if I am closing myself off from things that I used to be open to. We'll see what the night brings.

If I make it through it. The monsters in the closet can now attack without warning.

The Internet

Just thought everyone should know that I am currently experiencing our new network name as we speak. Big time.

Winter Blues

Everyone knows that Winter has some big bummers. Not to say it doesn't have its ups (Holidays, puffy jackets, non-ironic scarfs), but the rain, cold, and lack of sunlight certainly dominate most people's opinions of Winter.

I would argue, however, that one crucial, oft overlooked aspect of Winter far outweighs the importance of any of the previously listed characteristics. That would be, without further delay:

The Cold Toilet Seat

People who know me, and I assume most of you fall into that category, know there is little in my life that is more important than pooping to me. How dare the blight that is Winter challenge this enjoyment, and deprive me of my god given right to poop in peace.

Fuck you Winter, I hope you know this means war.

2008: Part VI

It has been a long time since posting. I would like to say that my life has been hectic, and I simply have not been able to find the time to post, but seeing as you all live with me, you know the reality is quite the opposite. Basically, nothing interesting has happened to me in about a month and a half, and as such, I have barely had enough material to make conversation with, much less prompt a blog which warranted attention from others.

Anyway, all semantics aside, here it is. A new post.

This one goes out to Michelle, who is currently overseas in some place where they don't speak English (I think China, but I could be wrong). I am offering an open invite to all housmates to toss out their New Year's resolutions. Simply respond to this post with whatever you see fit to change about yourself.

My resolution was to change the lightbulb in our bathroom that has been out for around 2 months. I would like to say that I have already achieved this goal, with 359 days left in the new year. Not too shabby.

As such, I am considering tossing in some bonus resolutions. Some options:
Not leaving Poo-remnants in the upstairs toilet after every jam-sess in there.
Memorize James Van Der Beek's motivational halftime speech from Varsity Blues, and utilize it in a social situation.
Actually, genuinely, having sex with a mom, for real.

I have yet to commit to anything, so we will see how this plays out over the course of the year. Until that point, however, I encourage everyone to toss out some of their resolutions. That way we will have a written record of all our aspirations, so in one year, we can see what tremendous failures we all were.