Everyone knows that Winter has some big bummers. Not to say it doesn't have its ups (Holidays, puffy jackets, non-ironic scarfs), but the rain, cold, and lack of sunlight certainly dominate most people's opinions of Winter.
I would argue, however, that one crucial, oft overlooked aspect of Winter far outweighs the importance of any of the previously listed characteristics. That would be, without further delay:
The Cold Toilet Seat
People who know me, and I assume most of you fall into that category, know there is little in my life that is more important than pooping to me. How dare the blight that is Winter challenge this enjoyment, and deprive me of my god given right to poop in peace.
Fuck you Winter, I hope you know this means war.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Sunday, January 6, 2008
2008: Part VI
It has been a long time since posting. I would like to say that my life has been hectic, and I simply have not been able to find the time to post, but seeing as you all live with me, you know the reality is quite the opposite. Basically, nothing interesting has happened to me in about a month and a half, and as such, I have barely had enough material to make conversation with, much less prompt a blog which warranted attention from others.
Anyway, all semantics aside, here it is. A new post.
This one goes out to Michelle, who is currently overseas in some place where they don't speak English (I think China, but I could be wrong). I am offering an open invite to all housmates to toss out their New Year's resolutions. Simply respond to this post with whatever you see fit to change about yourself.
My resolution was to change the lightbulb in our bathroom that has been out for around 2 months. I would like to say that I have already achieved this goal, with 359 days left in the new year. Not too shabby.
As such, I am considering tossing in some bonus resolutions. Some options:
Not leaving Poo-remnants in the upstairs toilet after every jam-sess in there.
Memorize James Van Der Beek's motivational halftime speech from Varsity Blues, and utilize it in a social situation.
Actually, genuinely, having sex with a mom, for real.
I have yet to commit to anything, so we will see how this plays out over the course of the year. Until that point, however, I encourage everyone to toss out some of their resolutions. That way we will have a written record of all our aspirations, so in one year, we can see what tremendous failures we all were.
Anyway, all semantics aside, here it is. A new post.
This one goes out to Michelle, who is currently overseas in some place where they don't speak English (I think China, but I could be wrong). I am offering an open invite to all housmates to toss out their New Year's resolutions. Simply respond to this post with whatever you see fit to change about yourself.
My resolution was to change the lightbulb in our bathroom that has been out for around 2 months. I would like to say that I have already achieved this goal, with 359 days left in the new year. Not too shabby.
As such, I am considering tossing in some bonus resolutions. Some options:
Not leaving Poo-remnants in the upstairs toilet after every jam-sess in there.
Memorize James Van Der Beek's motivational halftime speech from Varsity Blues, and utilize it in a social situation.
Actually, genuinely, having sex with a mom, for real.
I have yet to commit to anything, so we will see how this plays out over the course of the year. Until that point, however, I encourage everyone to toss out some of their resolutions. That way we will have a written record of all our aspirations, so in one year, we can see what tremendous failures we all were.
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