Pamcakes to the rescue

Ok Pam, aside from the fact that I can't understand half the words you use in your post, I have one problem that must be addressed: You claim that the 5 gallons of fermenting beer in my closet are a deterrent. (Side note: this blog will tell me when I spell a word wrong, but I can't figure out how to make it tell me how to spell a word right, so I tried to spell "deterrent" at least 5 different ways until I got it right. Who would have thought it would have three E's?)
Alright, so back to the beer. Beer is, has been, and always will be my cologne (side note: I got "cologne" right on the first try, bitch). Most of my clothes smell like stale beer anyway; I may as well make them smell like fresh beer, right?

Aside from that, since you are spear-heading this whole "Josh's Room Reform" campaign, I thought of a pretty good way for you to contribute. As I type this, I am taking down all the pictures in your room, and replacing them with pictures of me. This is just temporary, but if the situation arises that I do, miraculously, against all odds, get a chick back at this house, I am just going to tell her that your room is my room.

That is already far fetched, but I know you may be concerned that if this ruse continued, it may lead to me sexing it up in your bed. Well, first off, the odds of that are equal to Alex Smith NOT rolling right and throwing out of bounds all next season. But in the off chance it did happen, I can assure you it wouldn't last more than a minute and a half.

Thanks for taking one for the team, Pamcakes.